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From the Publisher’s Desk
“Do not disturb mode” vs “Do not disturb mood”
by Dr. Dev Anuroop Brar, MD
If I had chosen not to find out why—we would all be in a “do not be happy” mood.
We have five receptionists (we call them customer care liaisons) who answer our phones. When a caller asks to be connected with someone in the office, we just transfer the call. If we were not concerned about the caller, the transfer should be enough. As a company that owes its existence to its clients as well as referral sources, we do not have voice mail (our clients, potential clients and referral sources always speak to a live person) it is imperative that the receptionists connect the caller to the person he/she requested.
The phone system that we had in place did not allow us the type of communication that we needed. The employees who were away from their desk could put their phones on “do not disturb” mode. This allowed the receptionists to know whether a particular person was at his/her desk or away. However, the receptionists, of course, could not see where the person was. Therefore, we installed an instant messenger program allowing employees to send a message of where they were in the building or out and when they would be back, so the receptionist could reach them for important calls.
That system was an improvement, but there was still the issue of putting the caller on long periods of hold while we checked whether the person was available, had the phone on “do not disturb,” or what the instant message stated. We were wasting our caller’s valuable time.
We now have a phone system with digital screens for the monitors of every computer, which displays the status of each employee. The screens tell the receptionists if the requested employee is at his/her desk, on the phone, in a meeting, or out of the office. The system not only saves time for our callers but also is a cost saver for our growing business and a definite communication builder.
However, one person who does not do his/her part causes a breakdown in the system that can be disastrous for our business. It is not the responsibility of our receptionists only to make sure a call is transferred correctly, but of all other employees too. To make this point very clear to everyone, we require every employee to spend at least half a day with the receptionists doing what they do; and the receptionists sit with each person who receives the most calls. We do this to demonstrate what communication is all about—that it is not one-sided, but is expected from all positions. This program helps us treat our clients better, enables us to resolve any problems in an expedient manner, and helps our business grow, which benefits every employee.
A recent turn of events in my personal life caused me to reflect about how important this same level of communication is in our daily lives, especially in family situations.
I noticed last week that my daughter looked depressed. She is usually a very bubbly, boisterous, and cheerful young girl. My dad actually described her best when he said, “Faith is the light of our house.”
I asked her what was troubling her but she said, “Nothing.” So instead of finding out why she was depressed and not answering my request—just like someone who puts the office phone on “do not disturb” but does not send a message to the receptionist—I assumed she was either in trouble at school or her grades were not good on the latest test. I did not pursue finding out why she was in “do not disturb” mood.
On her side, she assumed that whatever her issue was…dad would not understand. There was a total breakdown in communication between father (receptionist) and daughter (employee with phone on “do not disturb.”) I was upset with her, and she was upset with me.
However, I love my daughter very much and she loves me too. We decided to involve another person to find out why she was in the “do not disturb” mood. Who better than her mother? Faith told her mother (who was traveling for work) that she had been invited to a birthday party and because she had heard dad say that she cannot go to after school parties, she had assumed that there was no point asking him. Just like an employee who does not try to let the receptionist know why he or she is on “do not disturb”...our daughter did not try to tell me.
Was she the only one at fault? No. I had failed to communicate with my daughter so that she felt she could come to me. I had failed to make her aware that yes, we do not want her to go to after school parties at random, but we would look at each situation. I had failed to instill confidence in my child by not communicating with her that my doors of communication are always open.
When my wife got involved, we went to immediate damage control. I took Faith in my arms and told her that “she is the light of our house.” I shared that we want to see her happy and at the same time prevent her from doing something that may have harmful repercussions for her and the family.
Faith then said something that brought tears to my wife’s and my eyes. She said she was asked in school “Who is the most important person in your life?” And she told us, “I was so proud to say my mom and my dad.”
If I had chosen not to find out why my daughter was in the “do not disturb” mood by involving my wife who then clarified to both of us what needed to be done, we would all be in a “do not be happy” mood.
Just as the lack of communication can be disastrous to business, lack of it in a family can have even worse and more long-lasting results.
I am writing this message to share with others the importance of telling our children how much we love them and how much they mean to us. We need to tell them that we will always be there for them, let them know that each of us can be wrong at times, but communicating with each other is how we resolve problems. By finger -pointing we get nowhere. Let us open our hearts and minds and the doors of communication. Then and only then can we expect a healthy, happy, and successful future.
We should never be in a “do not disturb” mode or “do not disturb” mood and not tell someone ‘close’ to us.
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